Sunday, 10 October 2010

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Dear Blog,


I have so much to say yet the words seem hard to phrase. Let me begin by first telling you that my father is already looking for a groom for me. really unexpected isn't it? Well I am still trying to digest this information. Somehow, it is taking awhile to sink in fully. Am I ready, you may ask. My answer is I do not know. It changes as frequent as the weather in Singapore does. One moment I think that marrying early is good as I have the years ahead to adjust and settle down before you know, a family is started and then my mind takes a switch in sides and think that now is just not right because I still have a lot to accomplish before I am ready to settle down. I want to travel, to back pack with friends, with my family, to explore the unexplored,take my degree in journalism, work with villages, have late nights with friends, go bungee jumping, swim with the sharks, dive with the dolphins and yes, to run through the padi fields with my black umbrella. There is just so much to do out there and marrying is just going to put all these little wishes to a stop. Or am I wrong in saying so? Again, I do not know.

Then there is the character of the man to fret about. What if he turns out to be an Assole (pardon the language) after 2-3 years? People do change right? I should know better just by looking within my family - my parents. What if he turns out to be a male chauvinist? Someone who thinks that it is only the woman's responsibility to look after the children and the man's to just provide the monetary support? or worse, just sits there and rot in front of the TV while I have to slog with the house work all by myself? Or OR WORSE still, turns out to be a bully?! Hey, don't blame me for being so paranoid. It is something I have heard and personally witnessed from all around me (excluding my parents because my father is not that extreme) all these years.

I have a mental picture of my ideal man and I know it is not possible to have all of them fulfilled, but a perfect man to me is one who can just accept me for who I am. That is about it. Cliche but it is what every man and woman want from their partner right.

I want someone who will be there. Physically and emotionally. Who can really tolerate my sudden temper outburst and know that deep down inside I am not that angry monster I appear to be for that 10 short seconds or so. Who will be that person who can balance up my short temper with his cool one. You know, like Yin and Yang. Be humble, and to support my dream to live in a village and to educate the village children. Too far fetched? I don't think so.

I will naturally be all that I want that person to be. I know myself well. I will look after his family like I would want him to with mine. Give the respect and earn the respect in return.

So my question is this. How do you find a man like this from a matrimony website?

Only the BIG guy up there knows and I believe that in the time to come, he will show me that person. I believe he exists somewhere out there and I am just not aware of his existence yet.

Dear Blog,

till then, I shall not tax my over worked brain on this matter and just focus on achieving as many dream possible before a marriage proposal is fixed and then from there, I shall continue on with achieving more. I will not let what happened to another person's marriage cloud my thoughts with fear because my life is different from theirs and what happens in in or even 10 families may not necessarily happen to mine and yes, with every bad marriage, there is a good one to over ride it so I shall just follow those examples.

wow, I cannot believe I just typed a long matured entry but I have been wanting to voice it out for sometime but kind of felt odd bringing something so personal out in the open. Tried talking to my mother but like always, she is in her own world solving other people's problem then her own.

So yea, I will let you know once I do find that guy.





Signing Off On|Sunday, October 10, 2010|

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