My 9 weeks prayer is coming to an end and my mind is in a total blank. Suddenly, I cannot remember the reason behind the prayer and somehow I am feeling really agiatated over it. It is a total void! Like empty, black hole, whatever it is one uses to explain emptyness. Hmm? Vaccum? Yea, close to that.It is a vaccum space in there.

Before you think I am in one of my emo states, let me clarify that I am not. My head is now made up of four parts - 15% confusion,5% sadness, 20% frustration, 10% stupidity and 50% happy.I am hoping to increase the percentage of happy to atleast 60% by the time I go back to work/school. You see, I do want to have good energy oozing out of me when I start yet another new phase of my life - training at NIE.I want to have that glow, that smile, an aura of confidence surrounding me as I step into that place,putting everything from the past behind me. To enter as a new person, sort of like with a clean slate. Know what I mean? No more that quiet,shy and vulnerable old me who do not dare to make the first move in making a firend, to socialise and make lots and lots of eye contacts.

Alright, once again, I have drifted away from my started topic but screw it, I do not want to get back to that.

The clock is ticking and I am still far from fitting all the pieces together to have the complete package ready by August.I need more seclusion from the outside world. Or do I need more exposure? I caqnnot seem to make up my mind. But what I have in mind is that of the caterpillar's metamorphosing phase. The phase in its life where it just hides in its cocoon away from the prying eyes of the outside world and then slowly,with each day passing,it starts to transform itself into a beautiful butterfly.

Maybe, I should do just that eh? hmm..

I am longing for a short trip to somewhere, I feel like going to kerala.Miss the beauty and serenity of that place. Or maybe Hong Kong? I still want to go that buddha place. haha..never mind, I will get to go when the time is right plus with the H1N1 casaes on the rise, travelling can take the back seat for now. Plus, I need the $$ so yup, I shall keep my fingers in my pocket for the time being.

“Don't count the days- make the days count.”

I wish you were here with me tonight. And every night I miss you, I can just look up and know the stars are holding you tonight.