Not going to school the past days have made me realised how much I have been missing emotionally. I am actually happy.Yes, you read it correctly,I am happy.BORED but happy.There isnt that tension proding at the back of my head telling me to quit slackking and get my butt back to work or that tired zoned out feeling at the end of a brain drainning session in school.

Its 2 days since school has officialy started and though I still feel that pang of dejection,I feel surprisingly cool and collected. I guess I have matured alot over the years in poly.I have toughend up.Not much, but enough to get me through for now.I guess I have alot of thinking to do now.I need to write out a list of My Wants and Other's Need and prioritise each of them accordingly.This degree included.I want it..but is it really REALLY what I want?I dont know now.May be cause I am blinded by that stupid shit of a C++ subject.In time to come,I am sure I will find the answer.

I was told to give business a go but frankly, business is not my cup of tea.Nowhere near at all.Atleast I can say this degree I am doing is somewhat in my interest zone but then again, interest and actually doing it is 2 diffrent things.

My heart is really in science.Its my dream.I love it.But MR BIG Guy up there has other plans for me.Being the joker that he is,he threw me into an IT course(something I never even gave a molecule of thought into)and then just not to waste that diploma,I decided to further up in IT itself.Well, atleast he gave a course that is in the security line and again,part of my interest.

Science(Biology)is my interest but compared to IT security,its what I really want to pursue further in.However,I know I am not alone in one thing.Not everyone gets to do what they want in life.We just have to accept what life throws at us and make the best out of it.Like my wise sister(ahem!) always says:"When GOD gives you lemon,make Lemonade."It is true.No point harping on and on about not being able to fulfil our dreams.Cause as long as we are still alive nd kicking,there is always that oppurtunity for us to get out there and fight for what we really want. It may not be anytime soon,but hey!what is another 10years down the road right?Time and age are just numbers not excuses.

If your really want it,look beyond those numbers.I may not being fulfiling my dream of going into the medical line now,but I believe in the near future,I would.Even if I am 60.As long as I still have that interest burning inside,why not?