"Life is like a rainbow.You need both the sun and the rain to make its colours appear."

I went to bed crying and woke up angry. I don't know why.Hormones are on the loose.No,I am not PMS-ing.I know the reason for the tears because reality has sunk in once again.Death anniversaries can sure hit you right on the face telling you to stop avoiding the fact that in reality,the person is actually gone and to atleast take this one day every year to just stop everything and remember the person.As for the anger part?I really don't know.I just know one word was in my head when I opened my eyes and my brain slowly woke up from its restless slumber. "Betrayal".I feel sick just thinking of it.It has been awhile since I have had this feeling. Sometimes,I wish people would just stop telling me things.I rather live in ignorance than to know who has done what to who.Seriously,I'd rather be.

My thoughts have been playing a mean game of hide and seek with me lately.Just when I thought they were all well hidden way back in my head,they spring back right up and drive me insane.I thought I had my whole C++ madness settled and now they are back once again.Making me feel doubtful about myself,about my abilities.Argh! I cannot stand myself for being so whiney! So much for saying I HATE whiners.

I miss school the way it was with my classmates. They were fun though alittle problematic when it comes to assignments.Never thought I would say that about the friends I have made in SIM but yea,opinions do change.Damn,I feel like just sobbing out loud.I feel so choked up as if I have not let all the water in the dam flow out completely.I hate tears. A sign of weakness I hate showing.

I will pull through though, cause deep inside me, I know I am not a quitter. People can throw all their shit at me or my family and for awhile, I may just remain low,brooding or maybe wallow in self pity avoiding the blows and then when I know I am ready,I will be back on my two feet fighting them one by one.I won't give up.

I will make sure both idiotic people and stupid C++ will get a piece of my constipated shit thrown at them when my time is right and their feng shui is bad.Life would then be a stinker for them.

There, I feel better now =).

Revnge can sometimes taste sweet..(man,do I sound evil.)