It is a matter of time before it is over.I don't know if it is what I want,but I know I am actually happier and the fact that such a thought has actually crossed my mind means something.Strange.I feel as if something I was holding back all these while is finally released and free.But then,a part f me is still lost and am waiting for a shepheard to head it back home to where it belongs(cheesy,argh! hahaha). There is one problem though,do I really want to let this go?What if all these feelings I am having is just a phase and when in time to come and I am out of it,I regret the move I make?

My thought processor is on.

I know one thing is for sure.I am happy and that is definitely not a phase.I feel more freedom,something I realise I have been lacking and was too blinded to realise.No more guilt.

Some say,weigh the good against the bad and see which tips the scale.But what happens when they are even and the good is really good and the bad can really kill(mentally).What am I supposed to do then?

Decisons and more decisons.Damn.

No more guilt.
No more hiding.
No more holding back.
No more sacasams.
No more fear of hurting.
No more doing something wrong and not knowing why.
No more suffocation.
No more lies.
No more fake smiles when I know I don't really want to be there.
No more inferiority.Always checked out by a cute guy while some werido(as pointed out at location) "checks" me out.
No more contradictions.
No more this,no more that.
No more.

The list can just go on and I still don't know only because the good part of it overrides everything above.

Silly little stupid me.

Decisions shall be made after THE birthday where there will be no happy feelings to dampen.

P.S wish me good luck! asking my father about saturday tomorrow!(Monday).
Looking forward to an overdose of chocolates.Not sure about the party itself though.haha..there she goes again =) .