Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal.
Life's up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals - Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want.
It was pure coincidence that I found quote no.1. Found it after drawing my pictures.Haha..haiz..wound on my ego is still healing but it won't be long before I get back on my own 2 feet. I believe it is situations that make us stronger, shape us into the individual heroes we are going to be in the future.
I am crying now. But tomorrow, I will wipe off all these tears and wake up with a smile, erasing whatever doubts I have on myself cause I know the BIG GUY up there did not build me as a self pitying whimp but a woman of strength who knows what she wants to achieve in life. I will reach my goal no matter what. The harder you try to push me down, the harder I am going to bounce right back,with a bang cause I don't intend to just remain at the bottom and cry for rescue.I will help myself.I will climb up that rocky mountain no matter how many boulders knock me back down. I am Divya.I will win this race.
I have made a promise to myself. I will help myself before others.The world is a selfish place.Putting others before myself has only left me eating the dust they leave behind.(I have helped her so much when she first started with this subject, and when she did well and I didn't,well there was not a sign from her after that..and they call themselves friends.hahaha) So from now onwards its all about me first then others(Family and bestest friends excluded) no more being a gullible girl falling for people and their "sad"stories. I have been bitten many times, but silly me never learned till this wake up call. One thing is for sure,I know who are really true to me,my sisters and my two closest friends.
The rest can go eat s**t.
Adieu!
This is one of my most favourite songs ever.The one song that never fails to get me back on my feet whenever I think I have reached rock bottom.The song maybe a slow moving one but its music soothes and Mariah Carey's voice brings it out flawlessly.This song makes me tear up eaisly,yet after listening to it,I always have this nagging voice telling me to get right back up and face whatever obstacle that lies ahead.
On a different note, Thank you rekha.Thank you for being so encouraging and patient while I blabbered on and on.I see things differently now..and you know what?I will push harder and shine through in my next exam.
Thank you. :)
When you get caught in the rain
With no where to run
When you are distraught and in pain
Without anyone,
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone it's okay
once you say.
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain.
And if you keep falling down
Don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound
So keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you'll need to prevail
Once you say.
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain.
And when the wind blows
And shadows grow close
Don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you
You'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again
On my own and I know
That I'm strong enough to mend
And everytime I feel afraid
I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day
And I make it through the rain
I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I'll live one more day and I
I can make it through the rain
Oh yes you can
Oh your gonna make it through the
Rain
If the world is in black and white,There would be no racisim. Everyone would be equal.There would be no inferior nor superior race.If the world is in black and whiteEvery essence of beauty would be captured at its barest.But then, IF the world was to be really black and white,There would be no yellow roses and beautiful rainbows. footnote: Divya is just blabbering. Just ignore or if you want just appreciate her lame-o on-the spur-supposed to be poem-but-isnt one-poem.Adieu!
Soon soon!! Less than 24 hours away! Heart is beating 2x faster each time the seconds tick by!(Yea I am exaggerating alittle).The index finger is all warmed up and ready to press the enter button till the results are finally flashed.Ok ok, I sound as if I am preparing for a marathon but trust me, the anxiety I am currently feeling can sort of equate to that of the day before a big marathon.
I will pass. Appupa said so and I trust his words.More than that,I know the effort I have put in would not disappoint me. So in conclusion,
appupa's guarantee+my effort=PASS!!!!!!.(alittle voice in me is silently praying for that A+ but then again,lets not get too greedy yet (: )
All in all, till I see the results with my bare-naked eyes,
Adieu!
p.s wish me good luck!
Katie Holmes told Seventeen Magazine her wish or should I say her dream was to marry her favourite actor Tom Cruise cause to her, he was hot.Few years later, she became Mrs Cruise and with all the media hype, they became known as TomKat. Jordin Sparks always told her mum that one day, she would like to duet with chris brown and vola! her wish was granted. Lastly,(to my knowledge)David Beckham and Victoria Spice both had admiration for each other and had hope to get together and if you have not already known,they are now married with 3 kids!So, Little Miss Divya is now writing on her blog that her wish is to marry Brad Pitt(Never mind if he is already married :p).So if you have read this blog and 5 years down the road you hear that Brad Pitt has left Angelina Jolie(oops! hehe..sorry Angelina Jolie :) ) you should know who has taken over!. wahahaha..and I will go onto the Oprah Winfrey show and like what Tom Cruise did, jump around like a retard and scream "Brad Pitt is officially mine!!"..hehe..if only such dreams came true. (Ahem..and I dont have to work and can retire happily with all the money he has..ahhhh).Well, like I always tell my sisters, if Katie Holmes can so innocently wish to marry Tom Cruise and have it granted anyones wishes and dreams can like wise come true(Obviously,I am not telling them to dream of marrying superstars or whatever..its just a good example.hahaha). Big or small. Believe in them. Cause they believed too and like us,they too started small and became someone big and famous in their respective fields(be it singing or acting).So come on and start building our little castles of dreams!Till they get fulfiled,Adieu!
Just got back from my first yoga session and I must say I enjoyed it thoroughly though it was a little uncomfy at first..sort of the I can't breathe and I think I am going to pass out kind of discomfort but after awhile it feels good. Me and yoga? haha..its been something I have been wanting to try out for awhile and since its the school holidays and Resh managed to get us two a pair of 1 week passes at true yoga I thought why not?
We started of with Hot yoga and man was that place hot. The heat being emitted was part of the cause of me wanting to just pass out on the spot.( I found out after the session that it was 37 deg in there). But that session was good. Felt really clean from the inside and surprisingly energised.(The purpose of hot yoga is for detoxifying the body and also increasing the body's flexibility). After that session, we both decided to try out some thing less strenuous and thus joined the Gentle yoga class. This class I must say helped me to relax alot. There is something in those stretches that really help to ease all tension in the body and also the mind. I feel really good now. At peace. Towards the end of the session, we were told to lie down and close our eyes blocking all thoughts from our mind at the same time. For once I did it. I succeded in actually blocking all forms of negative thoughts from entering my head and felt so calm. Never once in my past attempts have I felt this good.
In all, the experience was good and I am looking forward to my whole week of yoga.I so want to try the bodycombat and ahem..belly dancing?!! hahaha..lets see how it goes. I so want to try out as many as I can to help make myself a better more confident person. Also, I hope to achieve one more thing out of this week and that is to get to know Resh better. This is the 1st time we both are left together to do something together and I hope that by the end of the week I will see her as someone who isnt superior than me in terms of looks or whatever nosense my mind sees her as and also to erase all prejudice thoughts and grudge I hold against her because at the end of the day, I dont want to be a hypocrite and misuse the word Friendship like I have been doing in the past 8 years. Maybe in this one week when we are together, I hope we can be better friends and take it as an oppurtunity to bond and get closer like we used to in secondary 1.
For better or for worse. God knows. haha..lets see one week from now..will I succeed in knowing my friend better and also building my confidence level? Stay tuned.
Till then.
Adieu!
back·stabtr.v. back·stabbed, back·stab·bing, back·stabs
To attack (someone) unfairly, especially in an underhand, deceitful manner.
backstabber n.
backstabbing Noun
treacherous actions or remarks that are likely to cause harm to a person
backstabber nbackstab vb. May all backstabbers rot in hell. Amen.
I wonder when my blogging interest will wear off..I am surprised I have been actually blogging somewhat regularly..too bored I guess. haha..lets see what happens when I get back to school. haha..well, the purpose of this entry is well, just random. Somethings have been wandering through my head recently. Like, ok..how does one know when u really like a person and its about time..?
Firstly, how does it all start? From the physical appearance right? I mean isn't that the first we set our eyes on?
The first place that make us go "ooh..he is so my type"..(Ok thats how it works for me atleast) So after that what? how do you asess the character? Like what kind of a person he is?(That is if you see the person on a regular basis. i.e. in school, etc)..careful observations may give you a rough idea to what his/her character is like but still? I mean if you think you want to actually know the person what is it you have to do? you can't possibly go up and say "Hey! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx..I would like to get to know you" It doesn't work that way for me..I mean..isn't it embarrasing?
I know am starting to sound like a cracko..but I have always wanted to know how does it all start. Like what does it take to actually like someone. Isn't it from the looks? The first thing that draws your attention to the person of the opposite sex then from there its all a question mark..haha..a head full of ???????????????????????????? floating all over can make one go mad.
Ok, I have to admit I have like quite a few guys..some were really stupid and childish when I actually think back but then again, there were some I do feel that sense of seriousness towards it. As dumb as it sounds, I do wish sometimes I opened my mouth when I had the oppurtunity back in secondary school. Maybe i was too young..but hey..its been 7 years and that guy is still in my thoughts..unlike the other "cute" guys I have OOhhed and ahhhed over..he wasn't just all looks you know..there was that something in him. That something which over the years I have not felt on anyone I have so called claimed to like. Well, nature as its own sense of humour I guess. haha..and if I was not hallucinating at that moment, I can still see the whole scene of that smile I received when I was sitting like a real kok with my books filled yellow plastic carrier, hugging as I sat clumsily on the bus seat.
I can still remember how,from the corner of my eye, I thought he was a bangladeshi worker and kept cursing under my breath till I got of the bus and Michelle excitedly screeched "Did you see it!" "Did you see that guy looking and smiling at you? through out the journey?". At that time I thought she was mad till I saw who it was the next day..then again that is a whole short story of its own. When i think back, sometimes, the pessimistic side of me will say don't be mad..it could all be coz of how dumb you must have looked at that time..and then optimistic part will budge in and go Hey man..you never know..there were other times to yea? Well, again..they are all a story of their own.
If only..haha..if only ..IF ONLY I had the courage and was not so self conscious..haiz..but damn..there is a soft corner there for him..I maybe fooling myself or maybe just being dumb..but I dont care..each has their own special someone and it doesnt mean you have to know the whole historical details of the person to be able to have a special liking for him/her..I guess in each..there lies that something special which only your own eyes can see. (eew..its so mushy argh!). well, I guess he had it.. wasted 2 years- wonder where he is and what is he up to.
One fine day.
Adieu!p.s He does have one of the nicest pair of eyes I have ever set mine on.
Its been awhile since the 3 of us met up as one and I must say its about time! Frankly, I would say I have mix feeling about the whole outing. I guess it is still the problem of inferiority complex with one of them..but hey we are friends and it will wear of one day I hope.Anywayz, we met up at orchard to have a very scrumptous "Ayam Penchyek"(I think thats how its spelt) at an indonesian stall at lucky plaza..it was really good..haha coming from one who isn't really a fan of chicken. After the good meal we headed to cineleisure to catch The Happening(Freaking scary..plays with your mind kind of effects). While waiting for the show to start, we noticed this poster for fish therapy and noting how affordable the price is, we HAD to try it out. Well, atleast Reshpal and I were very eager..we had to persuade Ke Xin to remove her shoes and do it..haha..turn out we all enjoyed it! It was ticklish at first though..but soothing after awhile. The therapy works..my legs were cleaner after that session..guess the fish really had a feast. They were all so fat and juicy looking from doing nothing but eating 24/7..haha lucky them ;p. We plan to try out the full body one day soon..haha..I better go on a quick diet spree.haha.
Met up with Ke Xin on monday. Two bored souls with nothing much to do that day decided to meet up and spend some cash at vivocity. Indeed we spent some cash..hehe..Ke Xin got herself a pair of converse shoe(Under a very influential friend's instigation ;)..ahem.. ) and in the process, her friend, (Me!) got dragged into the itchy hand syndrome too..I got a converse sling bag. We both had good deals though..had good discounts for our purchases. Well, mine was already nicely priced..hehe.. The itchy hand syndrome didnt stop there..since both of us are equally crazy over watches, we HAD to stop at our favourite watch shop! sadly for me, the watch i wanted was out of stock..haha..but its ok the $10 was well spent on.........CLIPS!..I guess I was alittle mentally out that day..haha..but trust me...buying hair accesories can be very thereupatic..I love choosing the colours and imagining the styles i can come u with..though half the time, the imagined styles wont turn out wel. :). Well, spent $6 in that shop(Divya is officially out). Again, I must say, my hands couldnt stop its nonsensical twitch. Went to Bugis then next day to get some errands done with SC and Nisha and I saw another converse bag! ahhhhhh..the bag that I have been eyeing for....lets see..3 months?? haha..The 1st time I laid my eyes on it was at AMK hub..but it was priced at $69.90. Too pricey for a bag..I'd rather spend it on their shoes though. Ooops! But fortunately none appealed to me at that time. Anywayz, saw the bag at bugis and the price dropped!Alot! After MUCH consideraton..I told myself heck it! Just get it. Its not always I am so slack with money. ( Ask any reliable sources and they will assure you I am S'pore's no.1 thrifty woman)..so there it goes..in 2 days I have actually spent quite a fair amount of money and I can be sure with the sales and all, it wont be the last of it. Till my next shopping "Spree"Adieu!
The 1st half of my 10 year plan goes like this: I graduate from univeristy with a Bachelors in Computer Science(Digital Systems Security) by June'09 latest(My 5 year plan starts here) If by good grace from the BIG guy up there I get a job within the year, I pray for something in the 3K range..yea..my hope may be equivalent to catching air with my bear hands but I believe it is possible. I will make it possible. By end of 2009 I want to secure myself a house. A cozy house,a fair distance away from Dorset yet close enough to be near my sisters. - I am not dumping my parents and all that..I will carry out my responsibilities but I just want my well deserved space and freedom. In comes 2010, home away from home. Stabelise my self further. A well overdue lesson has to be taught to some people. My license, my yellow sports car/yellow jeep. . . . The rest is for me to know for myself. Till then Adieu!
I am broke..or soon I will be..with all the new movies hitting the theatres soon..its just a matter of time before the pocket becomes a pile of burning ash. But for now WHO CARES!! Lets put the money woes aside and look at the brighter side of things..The upcoming movies..and the yet to be watched..!
Now considered old:Indiana JonesSex and the CityIron Man(I can forget it already:( )
Made of Honour(Coming Monday!)
Kung Fu Panda
The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian
and now for the future money drainers:
The Incredible Hulk (June 12)
Mummy 3-Tomb of the Dragon emperor!!(That is on my MUST watch list!)
Batman-The Dark Knight
Mama Mia!
.
.
.
.
and the list goes on..there are more to come..heard there is another dance movie coming up so that would definately hit the list.
Shall uncover more soon to be released movies..
Adieu!
IT's not always about you..sometimes, It's about me too" I can hear those words scream through my mind each time I speak to her. Isn't a conversation supposed to be two way? You talk and I listen...and when I talk? you should also LISTEN!!! Its not always about you, you and YOU. Its already a miracle that I actually listen to you with full attention considering the fact that your topic of choice is well, always predictable. If you are not whining about something being physically wrong with you, its something to do with a certain someone in your relationship. I am not mocking you.I promise. I just want you to toughen up. The world is such.I have nothing against what you talk about.Its your life and what you are comfortable to voice out. All I want is for a listening ear in return. For me to talk without you having to budge in and change to something related to you again. Many a times I tell myself maybe..just maybe..could it be because my life isn't as interesting as yours? Maybe, because in contrast with what you have to say..what I have to say just dulls in comparison? guess what? After much thinking I have concluded that my life is just as interesting as yours is and I do deserve the same amount of attention when I speak.I am a quiet person naturally. Not one to talk much about things around me or about myself. BUT I do love to..that is if the right person just lets me do it. I believe I can be just as entertaining.All theses years, its only that one sepecial friend..a friend of 8 strong years who has let me have a share in whatever conversations we hold..be it the weather, school happening or plainly things about our individual selves, I have covered it all..and its only with her I feel comfortable to freely express myself knowing that inside her, I am not being judged in anyway. The reason being? We take turns to exchange stories. Again, I talk, you listen and so it goes. We freely say what we want and when its times for the other person to speak views are exchanged with an open mind. No one cuts the other half way.I have reached the stage where I hate answering phone calls only because I can already predict what we will end up talking about. Its either I have become psychic or its all just so predictable. But one thing is for sure..I am not a phone person. I have said so many times. I'd rather meet you face to face and exchange stories..or maybe gossips but not over the phone. Simply because I have an attention span of a goldfish..and I lose interest halfway through(This happens to whoever I hold phone conversations with..and trust me..I have been caught many times for not paying attention..hehe).If you have not noticed it yet,lately,I have not really entertained you when you talked about cetain things.I have either just listened but avoided commenting or plainly brushed them aside and tried to ignore because I am really tired of listening to them.Tell me, have you sincerely listened when I told you what I felt about the whole situation or atleast followed some of my advice? I doubt it all, cause from what I see, after all the promises you make, I see them broken after a fews days only to hear ou give some feeble excuse to cover them all up.Take what you said last night for example and what you messaged me in the morning as a clear cut example.It makes me wonder yet again. And yes, you do ask me about myself. Without fail and i do appreciate it..but think again..have you ever heard me tell you stories of my childhood? lets say, my primary school life? What kind o f life I have had in the past? Think. And if I am wrong in listing so, correct me. I will accept it.
The last fews days have got me thinking alot. Why do i have that extra pinch of sensitivity in my blood stream? or the table spoonful of extra spicy anger inside me always? Worse still..that ever ready dam of tears ready to burst and flow through at a slight crack. I think I sort of found the solution to it all. It all started 16 short years ago. Haha..back when I was a 5 year old kid.
Dark,chubby(I call it extremly overweight) and a real "kuckoo brain." I would say i was a perfect image of a comedian. To cut the long story short..I guess I wasnt someone my father was really proud of to show around to friends and colleagues..fat,"black" and well, nothing really pleasant to the eye and so I became just a backdrop. Next to someone who had milk white skin and beautiful black curly locks...what was I? The first concotion of a bad character was being made.
The ingredients? Low self esteem and lack of self pride. I hated every sight of myself in the mirror and stopped behaving like a "clown" . Didnt make much eye contact with people when I had to hold conversations and disliked the thought of socialising..what would people think of me? are they judging my looks? all this thought would run through my childish mind everytime i met someone. It all lasted till I was in primary school where things settled for awhile.
I made some nice friends and it was all good old primary school fun. Till i was in primary 2 when my principal accused me of initiating a fight with P, my then enemy in school. How could a "fair pretty girl like P bully someone like you?" were the exact words spat out of her mouth. So what? Just because I am dark, fat and not half as pretty as the girl, it makes me a bully ? Only fat people bully? The victim in question was me! idiotic woman! I was the one that got bullied in the bus and hit you bloody fool! Doesnt mean I am black and unsightly looking means i am prone to bullying a pretty and small built girl ok??! Argh! Well, instead of just leaving it at that, that old witch of a woman had the cheek to tell my mother the same freaking thing! B***h! I still hold that tiny grudge towards her..cause she had the honours of leaving scar no.2 on me. But guess what? The scars didnt stop appearing. Got attacked by bullies and had more mockeries thrown all the way till i graduated from school of hell in Primary 6.(As much as I had fun, I never really enjoyed primary school). But I had a goal..to excel in my education. To get that attention.
Entered seconday school, things werent so bad..thanks to the wondeful classmates I had. I still had the occasional bully problems..but i had friends to turn to always. But it never failed to hurt me even more. All that has happened in this short 16 years have moulded me into a person of rojak emotions: The good the bad and the ugly. But through it all i am glad to say I have picked myself up and strived through..though i have to really work on the bad side, Over sensitivity, short tempered-ness, letting go of grudges and the list goes on. And one thing is for sure..keep building on the good side..coz through the years..THAT black fat thing has evolved into a beautiful black girl who is really proud of her chocolate colour and is working her way through getting the perfect body to compliment the nice features of her face(I have a slight issue with my face though..its a bit too round..haha)..and lastly, a bag full of confidence and pride (and i mean good ones) to sum up her over all personality.
Till then Adieu!
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